Eliza Fenwick to Mary Hays, 30 Kirby Street, Hatton Garden, Monday, [22 October 1798] [postmark not readable].1 Monday Morning. We must remain one other week in our miserable dwelling because we have not had opportunity to chuse a better. Mr F—s leg obliges him to sit still – I shed tears of gratitude & affection over your kind sympathizing letter, & at Mr F—s account of your kindness – Your heart is prone to affection. Ah why have you not more happiness! This
struggle, this perpetual warfare must have an end – I will attempt the school.2 – I cannot write; perpetually surrounded
with my family even were I assured that I have talents to make writing
profitable & I profess no such confidence; on the contrary, I feel that
distress & disease have preyed more upon my mind than my body – the latter
renews its strength daily, but the former <–> in almost constant fear of
a worse morrow than to day has no chance of regeneration. I know the modes
& manners of a school I am not averse to the species or labour. Supposing I
get very few scholars, I can as well give the time to them that I must & do
now devote to the children with me – I must live somewhere – I would dear Mary
do any thing – any thing that I know I can do, would I now submit to, in order
to extricate myself from this torture of seeing Mr F— perpetually
struggling against a tide that so fettered & manacled he cannot stem. – Well
then! am I wrong in making the effort? I must put my friends to the trouble of
setting me forward & if I fail their benevolence will not be ^wholly^
misapplied, for I feel it my duty to make this endeavour. I intend writing to
day to Mr Marshall,3 he is very active & has a good heart, he may
be able to do something. Mr Holcroft4 has large connections & among them may find
persons willing to grant some aid – You dear Mary must also beg for me where you can – I have a
great deal of what I may call wor[l]dly pride for I I
have thought of a preparatory school for little boys as a thing that I should
much like – It has paid admirably well in several neighbourhoods around London
But I am doubtful whether the environs of London has not already as many as I will come to you on Thursday if the weather is not absolutely intolerable & in that case it shall be Friday. I shall come in the morning on account of seeking a lodging, & will be careful not to be later than your dinner hour. I long to see ^you,^ yet while my misfortunes compel me to lay so much care upon your shoulders I meet you with a species of restraint. Adieu My ever dear friend. Eliza Fenwick I received both your letters five minutes after Mr F— came home on Saturday Evening – The postman on Mrs Moody’s side the neighbourhood had taken the last from the office without minding more of the direction than the name.
Address: Miss Hays | No 30 Kirby Street | Hatton Garden Postmark: 22 October 1798 1 Fenwick Family Correspondence, 1798-1855, MS 211, NY Historical Library (hereafter Fenwick Family Correspondence); the majority of the letters by Fenwick to Hays, as does the letter above, appear in A. F. Wedd, The Fate of the Fenwicks (London: Methuen & Co., 1927) (omitted portions by Wedd have been highlighted). See Wedd, Fate 1-2; Brooks, Correspondence 318-19. 2 Fenwick was possibly working on a second novel at this time, but circumstances, especially her husband's inability to earn income, forced her to conduct a small school for young children for the next year in London; her efforts will not be successful. 3 The writer James Marshall (d. 1832), a friend of John Fenwick and William Godwin (he appears often in Godwin's diary at this time). 4 Thomas Holcroft, the playwright and friend of the Fenwicks, Godwin, and Hays. 5 The female friend of Shakespeare's famous character, John Falstaff. She was given new life in 1796 with the publication of Original Letters, &c., of Sir John Falstaff and his Friends: now first made public by a Gentleman, a Descendant of Dame Quickly, by James White (1775-1820), a friend of Charles Lamb. 6 Norwich. Mrs. Opie was the former Amelia Alderson. See her entry in the Biographical Index.
|
MARY HAYS: LIFE, WRITINGS, AND CORRESPONDENCE > MARY HAYS CORRESPONDENCE > Fenwick-Hays Letters > 1798-1800 >