Eliza Fenwick, Barbados, to Mrs. M. Hays, 41
Cross Street, Islington, Sunday, 15 April 1821.1
Barbadoes
Sunday April 15th 1821
You are right my dear
Friend: I am painfully convinced this is no Country for you. My solicitation
was dictated by affection but it wanted judgment. Even experience will never I
fear make me wise enough to distrust the sanguine impulses that in all my
the vicissitudes of my life have led me astray. I had scarcely sketched the
course of our bustling days when and urged you to become a member of our
family when fever in all its tremendous violence visited our Island and what
has rarely been the case women & young Children have been among its
victims. Two lovely daughters (formerly our pupils) of one family went to the
same grave. Several officers & young men Europeans of our acquaintance were
swept off. Our eldest boy was attacked but happily escaped though severely
infeebled, & happily he was the only one ^of us^ that caught it. But
those who had not fever were annoyed with distressing eruptive disorders &
our other Children were severely afflicted in that way; & our second boy
just recovering from them, met with an accident, a fall of 15 feet
perpendicular on his head, which kept us for 10 weeks in uncertainty respecting
his getting well. In short I scarcely can say that I have known a peaceful or happy
comfortable day for a long Season. The fever is gone but poverty and afflictions
abound. The Crops have again failed – Several planters are nearly ruined,
business is tolle totally at a stand and money is not to be had. Our
family is so large that the weekly consumption of dollars would distress me
exceedingly but that the prices of provisions are much reduced. Yet as it is we
are greatly inconvenienced and of that you may easily judge when I tell you
that I wrote begging letters a fortnight since to the amount of £58 and have
not yet received one shilling. I get out of temper with these moral evils and
still more with the physical evils of the Climate. Such a Season as the present
has scarcely been known in the memory of Man. No cool weather – no rain – no
thunder – nothing but heat, dust – a burning <–> Sun & glaring skies
– This dry & hot winter deprives
us even of hope as well as comfort, for the new plantations of Sugar cane are
perishing with drought – the ponds on the windward side of the island are
drying up & the grass is burned to stubble so that the Cattle are suffering
greatly. In short I envy the lady who brings this letter to England and is
removing with her whole family to your more favored and more equal Country. Ah
will it ever be our lot to return? How often do we talk over the wish of seeing home again, after the bustle
noise & distraction of the day has ceased & left us to an hours
uninterrupted converse. How gladly would we exchange the luxuries of our
present dwelling for ^a cottage &^ narrower means at home. We do not love
the idea of rearing our boys here, and yet we dread to encounter the hazards of
a new commencement. A Gentleman of St Thomas’s who knew Mrs
Rutherford 8 years ago at Santa Cruz is here and has fascinated my imagination at
^a^ little with his animated description of the comforts of living in America.
He intends removing thither with his family next <–> year and seems to
think we should act wisely in doing the same, but though Newhaven in
Connecticut has <–> been very stationary in my thoughts I have not
courage for such a speculation on one report; or indeed if I had while all we
earn is thus locked up from our use any such project if is impossible,
and grumble we may, but go on as we are we must. Eliza’s health is
astonishingly improved so that she has during two months gone through ^the^
excessive fatigue of preparation for our Annual ^School^ Ball without one
attack of Palpitation – Yes poor, embarrassed & distress’d as are the
general circumstances our Ball went on as usual except that we were compelled
to defer it, on account of ^the^ fever, from Christmas till this month. It took
place on Friday last and the Ball room was as numerously and as elegantly
filled as I remember to have seen it. A school Ball is certainly a pleasing
& interesting spectacle, & ours in particular for the children begin
that branch of their education very early, and the little groups all in one
<–> elegant costume of ^white^ sattin trowsers with lace ^gauze^ or book muslin
frocks ^tastefully trimmed^ appear like fairies. Our Elizabeth, four years and
one week old, made her first appearance, and has been so well trained by her
mother that though she cannot dance any variety of steps, she went through a
reel and ^a^ Quadrille without one mistake either in time or the figure to
every body’s ones surprise & admiration. She is small of her age,
brown but very pretty, & the room being very large & very lofty made
her small size more conspicuous & her exertions more singular. <–>
^Her^ eldest brother Pat now 7 ^years^ & 8 months, dances in a very
superior manner, but Tom the second boy from weakness of muscle has little
chance of excelling in that accomplishment. I avoid evening gaieties as much as
possible for my constitution refuses to support them, but on such an occasion I
could not with propriety be absent and not getting home till past 4 – the next
morning ^for the company dance after the pupils have done^ cost me [a] head-ache
that lasted me the whole of yesterday & is not quite gone to-day. The
succeeding calm & quiet that we shall now have for a fortnight of Holidays
we should most perfectly enjoy indeed but that we have some formal irksome
visits to pay that our interest will not allow us now we have leisure to avoid.
So many of our boarders are very young that except in holidays we now rarely go
out in the evenings. A few boarders from Demarary remain all the vacation so we
still have household cares & claims. I have <–> lately had a very
disagreable embarrassment that caused me vexation enough to set all the bile in
my stomach afloat & confined me three days to my Chamber. Upwards of a year
since I hired a very excellent Cook of a widow lady & soon after I had him,
she pressed me to purchase him. As he suited us particularly well, and
had fewer faults & evil propensities than most of the black servants, &
as I was convinced her circumstances would compel her to dispose of him to some
one, I took him at £140, part of which I paid to two of her Creditors who were
pressing in their claims the residue she received herself & I had agreed to
allow her daughter to continue a day Scholar without payment as she was in
narrow circumstances. To my no small surprise and vexation when the man had
been mine about 6 months he was seized on & sent to jail for an execution
given by his former mistress of a date six months previous to the date of my sale.
I could not lose the man and I was forced to buy him over again at the
Marshalls sale for £125. £70 of which I was compelled to lay down & thought
myself favored by the Creditor in being allowed three months for the remainder.
No other execution can now touch the man so in him I am secure and I have my
remedy against Mrs Todd in law but she is lame & infirm &
basely as she deceived me I cannot bear to send her to a prison and I have some
hopes that a son in law of hers who expresses great indignation at her conduct
will indemnify me in a part of the money. It will no doubt be repugnant to your
feelings to hear me talk of b^u^ying
men – It was for a long period revolting to mine but the heavy sums we have
paid for wages of hired servants who were generally the most worthless of their
kind rendered it necessary. Out of 8 in our household 5 are now our property –
2 men 2 boys and one woman. The latter should we ever quit this Island I shall
give freedom to because she is old and has attentively nursed our little
Orlando. This babe is an engaging & noble^ creature – the most robust &
large of Elizas children but does not as we fondly hoped resemble in face his
Uncle. He is fair with light curling hair & light eyes <–> has not a
feature that we can find a likeness for in the family. In temper & vivacity
& intelligence he is does resemble the early childhood of him for ever lost yet ever to here. I
call this Child Roland and all the family follow my lead. How sweet it is to
cherish the remembrance of the dead. When fatigued & oppressed with the
petty vexations & the toils that belong to our occupation the recollection
of the bright youth of my blessed boy has power to <–> soothe and revive
me.
We thank you dear
kind friend for your promise of friendship to our boys should we send them to
England for education. Should we continue here we shall certainly I believe do
so but not till our income is so much in our own possession as to enable us to
send as a years funds at least along with them. They shall be trained to
be honest industrious & independent but never if we can help it shall they
encounter the misery of blushing for the non-fulfillment of their parents
promises. – Our rich landlord is dead & in him we have lost a warm friend.
^To^ [t]he two little girls, his granddaughters, he placed with us he has left
large fortunes but by some error in the wording in the will they fall into the
Guardianship of their father & mother an unhappy worthless pair who are
intoxicated from morning to night and fight like adverse dragons. The poor old
Gentleman gave me strict orders injunctions never to permit the Children
even to go to dine with their parents – Now the father is going to remove them
to Europe & blushed with exultation at the handsome income that will fall
into his hands intends, as he says, to take them [on] a tour of England Ireland
& Scotland. The loss of two very profitable scholars does not grieve me as
does the certain destruction ^of mind & manners^ which will overwhelm these
poor little girls. We have read 8 of the novels of Walter Scott and with
delight. In Ivanhoe there is a chivalric lofty tone that inspires enthusiasm.
That Rebecca is the most saintly creature I ever met in print and her father is
a masterly portrait of the characteristic features ^both good & bad^ of
that extraordinary people. Richard’s ^gay^ festival with the Clerk of
Copmanhurst is a high dramatic treat. In short the work appears to me almost Unique
[paper torn] Thank you
also for the mention of other works [paper torn]. I have not met with them as
yet. Whenever you read new books send me their <–> names that I may
enquire for them.
I am glad for your sake that we
still use Mr Amyots2 name as the frank for our letters – As for
myself the sight of a letter from England does one so much good that I even pay
for it with indescribable pleasure. Pray write very soon & very often. I
shall long to hear how you approve your new residence
& what society or characters you find in it. Forgive my late silence for really
surrounded by sick Eli Children and uncomfortable from the oppression of
the Climate I had not courage to write till the present opportunity occurred.
Eliza joins in every
affectionate wish
With
yours most truly
E. Fenwick
Address: To | Miss M. Hays | No 41 Cross Street | Islington
Postmark: 5 June 1821
1 Fenwick Family Papers, Correspondence,
1798-1855, New York Historical Library; Wedd, Fate of the Fenwicks 204-08; not in Brooks, Correspondence.
2 Thomas Amyot, Crabb Robinson's long-time friend (see Fenwick to Hays, 23 August 1813).