Eliza
Fenwick, Barbados, to Mary Hays, at the Penningtons, Bristol, 3, 8 and 19 July [and 7 August 1815].1
Barbadoes July 3d
8th & 19th [1815]
After believing that
you my dear Mary, as well as every one also in England, had forgotten me I was
relieved from that painful apprehension by the arrival of your kind
affectionate and cheerful letter. It is a long time since I have had one from you expressive of such
calmness & evenness2 of spirits and feeling. I am sure therefore that
notwithstanding the disagreeables of the Lady Resident your removal to Clifton
has been of material service. Your picture of all that passes within doors was
highly amusing – of all that you saw & of all your out-door associations,
highly gratifying. Continue I pray you to give me a constant description of
every thing that <–> surrounds or interests you and let me thus enjoy as
much of your society as wayward Fate has left me the power to enjoy.
You will no longer
have to complain of my not writing sufficiently in detail for some of my
voluminous epistles must long since have reached you. I half suspect one might be
lost in the Montrose Packet but the other must have come to hand. I cannot
exactly say whether I have written twice or thrice since the short letter you
acknowledge & my uncertainty on this point would not surprise you if you
knew how totally my memory is annihilated and how constantly I am bewildered
with a multiplicity of occupations almost beyond my power of performing. Since
I wrote last Mrs Rutherford has brought us a second little boy3 &
in the first week of her confinement had an illness from the effects of which
she is but now recovering. At the very period of her danger we were rob’d
robbed by two of our Servants & beside the loss we sustained I had all the
inconvenience of increased household claims without due assistance. I never
underwent more fatigue for night & day I was the same yet except weariness
I had no bodily complaint & on the whole I think my health is mended since
my residence at Barbadoes. The
only complaint which materially annoys me is a Giddiness in my head at times, which
^that^ I take to be owing to certain ^natural^ changes which are not yet
decided in my constitution. Of the prickly heat, however tormenting, I
do not speak as a disease, because it belongs to the fermentation caused by the
climate in the blood or juices & is looked upon as a preservative from
worse evils. My old complaint has never returned & considering the exertion
& exhaustion I undergoe daily I must allow that the climate has been
beneficial to me. Nothing is so common here as old Ladies of from 80 to 100 years
of age. The men shorten their period by intemperance & sensuality. I do
not I assure you wish to be one of these great Grandmothers. I do not love life
the better as I extend my acquaintance with it. Yet I should like to live &
have health enough to revisit England, dear England, when I can do so without
being an incumbrance on the sympathy of my friends in behalf of my undecided
prospects. I have the satisfaction to assure you that greatly as my first
dislike of the Climate induced me to fear this some interruption to the
success of our plans I can no longer doubt the accomplishment of Mr
Rutherfords fairest prophecies. We have now 37 pupils – one boarder, at £100 pr
Ann, though we have only opened our boarding
school a fortnight, a second expected this week and several others spoken of as
coming. We have removed into a very fine house for the accommodation of
boarders, & from the calls of enquiry and cards sent for it is not being
unreasonably sanguine to expect that our school room before the expiration of
this year will contain 50 scholars. Beyond that number I do not mean to go nor
would it be possible without sending to England for assistance. Already I have
not from ½ past 6 in the morning till 4 in the afternoon an interval of rest
unless I take it from the performance of some prescribed duty. Elizas long
indisposition has rendered her unable to take any ^material^ share in the
school business for she had not indeed strength enough to encounter the
difficulties occurring in the management of the household. We have however at
last fortunately got a superintending Servant, & if his honesty which we
have at present no read reason to doubt, equals his activity he will
prove a treasure. Already Mrs R is relieved from many claims &
as her strength encreases her assistance will greatly lighten my shoulders of
their burthen. Our removal has been attended with much expence on account of
necessary purchases but our income is equal to all we expend now, & will
after this coming quarter leave an overplus. Perhaps you will be frightened
& be inclined to doubt our prudence when I tell you that the rent of our
new dwelling is £300 pr Ann
Enormous as that sounds it is considered to be very cheap; for large
stores belong to the house, so well situated that we have already let one for
£100 pr Ann & have another equally valuable for which we have had
proposals. Houses are at a high rate & very difficult to be got. The Island
has, as I dare say you know a most extraordinary population for its size &
the Town is of course crowded with inhabitants. I should prefer living in the
Country but our day school bringing in nearly £800 pr Ann is too
valuable to be relinquished. Our new House is not connected with any
other building & its spacious lofty rooms draw such a current of air
^through them^ that I have ceased to make an outcry about the heat because I do
not feel half the annoyance I did. Perhaps the <–> ^toil^ I undergoe
deadens my susceptibility of heat by leaving me no unoccupied moment to lament
it. We dine at ½ past 4, & by the time I rise from Table the exhaustion of
my days labour takes its empire & though I may have made a thousand wise
resolutions of taking up my pen to address a dear Friend, I am incapable of the
effort, & after inertly enjoying the evening breeze in a Balcony for an
hour or so, lounge to Bed & hold a war with the Mosquitoes till ½ past 5
the following morning. What a new kind of life is this to me – Altogether new –
My pale yellow daughter with her two babes, full of the strongest most apprehensive
most timid of motherly solicitudes is a new creature to me & Orlando too,
tall erect manly – thinking & acting for himself & managing the
business of a considerable mercantile house with sober steadiness, his fading
color testifying his fatigues are all strangenesses with which at times my
heart refuses to become familiar. As I open my whole heart to you I will tell
you that I have felt great uneasiness & misery lest he shd
acquire a habit of drinking. When we first arrived he was cautioned against the
water of the Island which
is accused of a tendency to create swellings of the Testicles. For my
part I doubt the fact & cannot believe that the pure unadulterated water
which agrees so well with the females who generally drink nothing else can be
solely injurious to the male community. It is however generally credited &
even Mr Rutherford who is restless in all physical enquiries dashes
his glass of water with a ^very^ small portion of rum. Orlando was advised to
do the same & that which at first he murmured at became pleasing. The heat
induced thirst & in the hurry occasioned by his business his quantity could
^not^ be always measured with due restriction. I remonstrated perhaps too
angrily, & not aware himself how the fatal habit was encroaching he thought
me captious & unreasonable. He saw others drinking pints to his spoonfuls
& could not sympathize with my terrors. I had intended to have asked you to
write to him on the subject but now I beg you will not notice my having spoken
of it for we had, one evening, a cool conversation in which he promised to
leave it off & for three weeks past has not tasted rum, mixing his water
with sugar in lieu of it. I would not now seem to complain of him especially as
he has been maintaining an arduous situation with great propriety. I believe I
mentioned that his employers are two partners, one of whom resides here &
the other in Dublin. How much Orlando must have acquitted himself to Mr Hoziers satisfaction I
leave you to Judge, when after little more than three months service, he has
left Orlando the whole management of the business while he himself is gone on
commercial speculations to other Islands – Such a proof of confidence in ^the
prudence^ of a youth just 17, has astonished every body. A merchant told me the
other day that he believed no other house had a Clerk so young so active &
so fit to be trusted. And closely has he abided by his trust, undergoing
excessive fatigue and tormented at the same time with prickly heat &
terrible boils. To him who was always free from eruptive disorders these things
are great evils – His color is almost faded & in another year I suppose he
will look as sallow & sickly as his poor Sister does. What she has lost
herself she seems to have given to her children for they are fine healthy creatures.
The eldest Pat, two years old the last day of this month, is a noble little
fellow. Dark complexion’d with fine eyes & beautiful brown hair curling
over his & head, & open forehead, he resembles the children of
the old painters – Subject to no one eruptive complaint that abounds here among
children his glossy soft skin & his sturdy limbs render him lovely, while
the infant, fair & delicate with
soft blue eyes is & pretty features is a beautiful babe as I ever
saw. He was born on the 1st of May.
I recollect perfectly
that in struggles & pecuniary difficulties I used to think every
^any^ place would be paradise where I could secure a living. The means are now
abundant but Barbadoes is not my paradise. Eliza enjoys the heat & the
fruits with a thousand other things that were at first absolutely hateful to
me, though now I can tolerate many ^of them^ but were there no other objection
the endless trouble & vexation that Black servants involve you in renders
domestic comfort unattainable. While I kept house for Eliza during her
confinement I was several times almost mad with the provocations their dirt,
disobedience & dishonesty caused me. One who robbed us to a considerable
amount boasted to her owners other slaves, that she knew I would not suffer her
to be flogged & ^therefore^ she knew better than to work when she was not
made to do it. You would be astonished to hear me scold. I do so I assure you
& that with a vehemence which on reflection surprises & pains me. Yet
every instance of kindness remonstrance persuasion4 or gentle reproof are
so determinately scoffed at by the greater part of this wretched race, that an
excessive propensity to indolence can alone preserve any degree of equanimity
of temper. Next to the Negroes the intolerable & numerous tribes of insects
are great annoyances – Above all the little red ants who surround you in swarms
& who against whose abuses the domestics must ever be on the watch.
Leave a small loaf or a cake on the Table unless it is fenced round with water
in ten minutes it is possessed by thousands & tens of thousands; & you
see a regular line from the bread down the leg of the table, across the floor
& up the wall to some almost imperceptible crevice from whence some are
issuing & others returning with their prey. Every article of provision must
be placed in small reservoirs of water, or in some suspended closet which by a
process of tarring & chalking the ropes cannot be reached ^travelled
over^ by the indefatiguable little torments. They visit your beds to hunt after
the eggs of bugs which they destroy but they bite very sharply themselves. Bugs
are not more offensive here than at home but much more numerous. The
Cock-roaches or winged beetles I have not yet learned to see running about,
without fear. Other people sit quite composed but I start away & call out
for their destruction when they come near me. The spiders, some as large as a
moderate sized saucer, I rather like than otherwise because whenever they do
make their appearance they are in pursuit of the Cock-roaches & are very
ready to sweep up a million of Ants by the way. The Land crabs which are great
plagues in some dwellings we have had none of in either of our houses nor had I
ever seen one till the other morning when at the house where I give private
lessons 3 times a week to a young Lady whose health is in a bad state, one
walked into the drawing room & across it to the gallery with perfect
unconcern. Speaking of that house reminds me that the mistress of the Mansion
is on her death bed. I shall have a loss in her. She shewed me every civility
in her power & of all the persons I had seen I felt most inclined to select
her for a friend. They are a very rich family but unfortunate in their family
children. It is a strange perplexing Enigma this life, yet it takes us a long
time to find out that we cannot understand it.
Since I began this
letter I have witnessed the first severe thunder storm. I have heard a few
frightfully loud claps before but this lasted from 5 in the Afternoon till 2
the next morning in all its most terrific grandeur. I hear of no damage except
the washing away a small bridge of which the rain alone was guilty – Also since I commenced writing
for I can only write by snatches, two other boarders have come in – I wish we
could transport our school to Clifton & take you for another resident. I do
not fear you would like us. Mr Rutherford & you would be
sociable directly. But wishes are vain things & the Atlantic will still
roll between. One of our boarders is a relation of Mrs
T. Dunkin.5 Orlando & Mr Rutherford spent three days not long since
with Mrs T Dunkins brother at his home estate. He professes
to know nothing about his Sisters; he is very handsome but gets into frequent
scrapes by too much of the spirit of London Brahmism.
Augst 7th
A month has elapsed
since I commenced this letter & the only packet that has arrived left the
Island again in 12 hours. It happened on a day when a crowd of chances concur’d
to swallow up every instant of my time & I was compell’d to wait for the
next which is now a fortnight past its time. Our school now contains 42
Scholars. We expect a fourth boarder speedily. We are indeed very prosperous
for Orlando has made a large stride towards his own advancement in life by his
management of Mr Hoziers business during his absence. Mr
H— has since his return intimated to him, that in the course of another year he
will probably open another house in one of the Leeward Islands & giving him
the management add his name to their firm. As a further proof of his confidence
he has this very day embarked Orlando on board a Schooner charter’d for the
Purpose, & sent him to Martinique
to Dominique, to Antigua & finally to Guadaloupe
to settle accounts for the house, with the principal Merchants of these
Islands. This will prove a pleasant excursion to him in the variety of objects
& manners he will see & will introduce him in a favorable point of view
to the persons with whom it is probable he will have much commercial
intercourse. Mr Hozier appears resolved to be a friend to him &
I hear from various quarters of the advantageous terms in which he speaks of
Orlando & his services in the business. Thus my dear Mary our experiment
has been attended with the happiest results & I recollect with some shame how
perversely I looked on every thing when I first arrived & how little I
relied on the prophesies of what has actually come to pass. It must have been
some physical infirmity that Jaundiced all my perceptions. The heat was at
first insupportable to me It is now several degrees hotter & I seldom
complain. I have now copious perspirations & am relieved from that burning
sensation which was agony. This is our summer The days are intensely hot but
the cool air of the nights is indeed delightful.
My poor friend that I
mentioned in the earlier part of this letter is dead. I attended, as is the
custom in this Country, her funeral. She was a most amiable & interesting
woman. I little supposed when I was introduced to her at Christmas &
instantly knew that I must prize her beyond a common acquaintance that I shd
so soon drop a tear on her grave. Strange chequerd life is this we wander
through & find no resting place.
Public events have
been so various & wonderful as almost to deaden surprise. Mr
Rutherford & I are full of desire to know what has been the fate of that
extraordinary & misjudging man for this packet has only brought us the
various floating reports concerning ^him^ & the occupation of Paris by Lord
Wellington & Blucher.6
Farewell my dearest
Friend. Eliza & Mr R— unite in presenting a thousand kind
remembrances to you. Her health is very much amended but she has great fatigue
with her household occupations & the care of her babes. Two of our best
servants are ill & the others true
negroes will do nothing without been [sic] watched & driven. Orlando has
been gone a week to day is the 14th. We shall not see him till
[next] Month at earliest.
I linger & am loth to say a last God bless
you may dear friend
prays
yr affectionate
E.
Fenwick
About Xmas I shall endeavour to send some money to England with an
order for the repayment of yr kind loan. We have much as you may
suppose to purchase which once bought is our own & not to buy again. We use
our cunning in money rather than incur debts.
Address: October twenty one 1815’ | London | Miss Hays | Pennington's Esqr, | Dowry Square | Hot Wells | Bristol
[to the side is written "S. Scott"]
Postmark: 21 October 1815
1 Fenwick Family Papers, Correspondence, 1798-1855, New York Historical Library; Wedd, Fate of the Fenwicks 171-78; not in Brooks, Correspondence.
2 eveness] MS
3 Thomas Rutherford. He and his older brother, William, would drown together on 12 April 1834 on Lake Ontario, where they were living with their grandmother, Eliza Fenwick, and their younger sister, Elizabeth, and brother, Orlando.
4 persuation] MS
5 Thomas Dunkin married Mary Olton, a name mentioned in a previous letter (24 May 1814), but most likely that Mary was a relation of Dunkin's wife then living in Barbados, possibly the wife of her brother who is mentioned above.
6 Reference is to the Battle of Waterloo, Belgium, which occurred on 18 June 1815, and its immediate aftermath, the final battle in the Napoleonic Wars and the end of Napoleon's rule. He was defeated on that day by British and Prussian forces led by the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blucher, the latter's forces having been severely damaged by Napoleon on 16 June 1815. More than 50,000 lives were lost that day on both sides. Wellington later became Prime Minister of England; Blucher died a few years later.