Eliza Fenwick, Lee Mount, to Mrs. M. Hays, at John Hays, Paragon, Blackheath, Mrs. Mackies, Tansor, near Oundle, Northamptonshire, 26 August 1813.¹

Lee Mount Aug^st 26^th 1813

My dearest Friend,

         I feel the greatest inquietude respecting your long silence. Do you remember what a period has elapsed since you wrote to me! I forwarded my last to you by M^rs Hewitt fro when she returned to England, June 4^th, and I cannot doubt its having reached ^you^ because M^r Lamb had one at the same time which he acknowledged. I should earlier have made the enquiries which my affection for you dictated but that I was unwilling to put you to the expence of Postage and some time since M^r Amyot² forwarded letters from Antigua to me with a note from himself saying M^r Robinson was gone into^the Country^. I do not know that he has returned but I venture upon this mode of conveyance in hopes that it will be forwarded & that I may soon know from yourself the causes of this protracted silence. Sometimes I imagine you are engaged in visits to your Essex friends & defer writing till your return to Town, but at others I dread lest late vexations should have attacked your constitution which is I think peculiarly susceptible of injuries from the imitation of the mind, shaken as it has been by high wrought feeling & the most poignant disappointments. It seems to me particularly hard that you should not now be able to rest in peace nor can I easily forgive those who have imposed on you these new trials. I cannot but be anxious to hear whether you are likely to find an endurable home where you may hope to continue. Shifting about from place to place & from plan to plan is nothing to me or a[t] least but a comparative inconvenience while to you it is a serious exer evil indeed – the greatest I believe you have left to sustain.

         The complaint of which I lately spoke so much in my head is considerably better. I have tried river bathing & imagine it agrees with me but whenever the wind is Easterly I am crippled with the Rheumatism nor do I walk with perfect ease to myself, however I generally persevere in taking exercise. On the 25^th of last month I was suddenly attacked by my old Enemy from whom I imagined I had parted for ever. I had a return of the pains every second or third day during a fortnight & since that I have been free. This visitation was probably brought on by fright. M^rs Honner had a most dangerous delivery: she was obliged to take lodgings in Cork for the period of her confinement because her accoucheur never leaves the Town & what with my alarm for her, & the anxiety I felt so to govern the family at home that all should go on well during her absence together with perpetually going backwards & forwards from hence to her, altogether turned me out of my accustomed course & probably gave rise to this attack. The baby lived to the second day only after its birth & M^rs Honner is now at home & more recovered than I could have expected. She continues studiously attentive to promote my comfort, nor have I ever found a change in her. Since the 24^th of May I have had a regular succession of letters from Antigua all of the most satisfactory mind & pourtraying a mind elated with & fondly appreciating its own happiness. I cannot tell whether Eliza or M^r R. writes most urgently on the subject of my coming to the West Indies. I have taken a year to consider of the plans they suggest and if matters continue to appear as favorable as they now do for my successful establishment I think I ought to go, especially if Orlando as M^r Rutherford strongly recommends goes there to study & practise the Law of their Courts. I forget whether I explained these views in my last, but if I did not I will enter into the details when I write again.         

       I conclude that you duly received the £6 because M^r Mocatta mentions having paid it to M^r Lamb. Perhaps you will be shocked to hear that I have actually this year overrun my income – adequate as it did appear to me to every possible want. Every article of dress is very dear & I am necessarily obliged to be more expensive than I was in London, for I wear my clothes out much faster & in conformity to M^rs Honners Lady refinements I dress better. That however, with my management, I could keep within reasonable bounds but Orlando’s expences continually exceed my estimates, and these I cannot in conscience retrench so valuable do I deem the advantages he is reaping. My Doctors bill shall never if I can help it come to such an amount again ^as it has this year^. English Apothecaries are dear but irish ones exp exorbitant: I am charged £1 for each visit, independent of medicines the prices of which exceeds any thing of the kind I ever saw. In future I will apply my own remedies & have nothing to do with the Doctor. Orlando continues to afford me every hope of his future welfare. He is much pleased with the thoughts of going to his Sister & M^r Rutherford, whose letters to him have made a great impression on his mind & ^he^ is not a little impatient to begin the ^preparatory^ career of his own independence. He is still most affectionate towards me & tractable to my wishes nor does he fail to remember all your kindness to him with grateful fondness. The qualities you approved in him are strengthened, & his temper is much regulated, but his animal spirits rise to an almost fatigueing excess. I am sure you would be much pleased with him now and I cannot be so blind as not to trace to your kind counsels & influence much of his improvement.

       Let me hear from you as soon as possible & as particularly as possible and believe me ever my dearest friend

                        most affectionately yours

                                    E Fenwick

Address: For | M^rs M. Hays | John Hays Esq^r ^Mrs Mackies^ | Tansor Paragon | ^near Oundle^ Blackheath | Northamptonshire.