Eliza Fenwick, [5 Tavistock Square], to Mary
Hays, Wandsworth Common, [postmark 6 January 1812].1
I am very sorry that my silence
gave you uneasiness my dear friend and yet I have now delayed longer than I
ought or thatn I should had I not waited in hopes I might receive a line
from your Brother confirming either my hopes or my fears. No news is good news
they say & I am inclined to think it so in a degree for had Mr Hays determined to negative my
request I conclude he would have given me his reasons without hesitation.
I fear your indisposition
resulted more from the shock you received on your
Journey than ^from^ cold. I do not wonder at it. I think of all the
injuries that can be inflicted by one human being on another that species of
aggression is the greatest which you have sustained. Its remembrance can never
wholly die away but in a mind capable of perpetrating an equal injury, and if I shudder at meeting that aggressor no wonder
dear Mary you suffered so severely. Happily this hazard cannot often fall in
your way for I think its recurrence would tend to any thing rather than forgetfulness.
You are very considerate for me but it would not be from for saving the
expence or deferring my visit till my boy was with you that I should stay away,
but I must make up my mind I perceive to remaining at home. A new residence
induces new modes of life. We have undergone great changes here. Mrs
M. begins to taste the sweets of going out & my privileges one after
another die away. I was a little piqued on new years day that I could not dine
at Lambs which I had some time promised to do but I gave it up because I was
obliged. I don’t know how it happened but I felt more bitter discontent about
Elizas absence ^that day^ than I had felt before. I seemed more particularly to
fea comprehend the length of these revolving years – It is a terrible
period. I am infinitely indebted to your brother for the trouble he has taken
to ascertain her safety and now I have done with thinking of her capture &
believe she must be safe at Barbadoes. As this day makes the 8th
week of her departure from London I hope the career of her prosperity has begun
and that early in next month I shall hear of her having escaped the perils of
the sea. Her success with the public & her reception from her introductions
I suppose we shall wait another month for because if opportunity served she
would write the instant she got to shore. I have now written to her four times
running all chances rather than she should have the sickness of heart arising
from hope defer’d. I shall write again on Wedny 29th (for
the packets of the first & the last Wednesday of the month both touch at
Barbadoes) and will not you my friend contribute by a letter to her comfort? Do
write. I know it will be an infinite gratification to the poor exile. Orlando
smiled proudly at the receipt of your letter but he is really so much a man of
constant occupation that you must I fear wait for an answer. These young folks
have got up Miss Edgeworths Old Poz & Lanno has been chosen for Justice
Headstrong,2 to which I assure you he does surprising credit. His variety,
action & conception of the nature of the old gent amazed me. They perform
it this evening before drawing for King & Queen & it has brought him
here oftener than otherwise I shd have enjoyed his company though it
takes up rather more time than I approve of. I am very anxious that he shd
usefully spend every moment. His father gives an excellent account of him. When
does the Vacation end & will you ask Mr W— what drawing is
charged pr Quarter?
God bless you dear dearest friend.
With kind remembrance to Mr & Mrs H. & the
Children, all which Lanno desired me to name for him I am yrs truly
E F.
pray write to me
Address: Miss Hays | Wandsworth Common Postmark: 6 January
1 Fenwick Family Papers, Correspondence, 1798-1855, New York Historical Library; Wedd, Fate of the Fenwicks 55-56; not in Brooks, Correspondence. 2 Reference is to a play for children, Old Poz, with its character Justice Headstrong, by the popular writer Maria Edgeworth (1768-1849). The play appeared in the fourth volume of Edgeworth's The Parent's Assistantm, or Stories for Children (1804).
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