Mary Hays, 2 Paragon Place, Surrey Road, to William Godwin, 25 Chalton Street, Somers Town, 6 May 1795.¹

No 2. Paragon Place. Surry Road. April May 6^th 1795

      The last time I had the pleasure of seeing you in Paragon Place,² I fear I was a little troublesome. I wanted, with an impatience (I was going to say natural) habitual to my temper, to gain information on every subject at once, & almost harassed you, I believe, with desultory questions: By which means I defeated by an over solicitude, as I fancy is often the case, the purpose on which I was intent. For of the multiplicity of ideas which had rapidly succeeded each other in my mind, there were but few that I could clearly retrace. A variety of circumstances have tended to ex[cite] in my mind an inexpressible ardor for the acquisition of knowledge, an ardor approaching the limits of pain; for my attainments bear no proportion to my desires: & frequently, when conceiving that I have gained an arduous height, my thoughts recoil, like the fabled stone of Sisyphus,³ and sinking back into old habits & prejudices, I perceive that I have not in reality advanced a single step. In seasons of despondency, which but too often recur, I am sometimes inclined to think that every wise man will at length conclude with Solomon – That all is vanity & vexation of spirit.⁴ (excuse this short quotation, I am not unmindful of your reproof!) So convinced am I, that virtue is not in itself happiness, for   ah! how many painful sacrifices does it frequently require of us! that I own this life appears to me, while struggling with wayward passions & exhausted by vain pursuits, an inexplicable enigma – if I must conclude it to be the whole of our existence. How can I suppose that so fine a mind as yours, after combating a few years with the vices & follies of mankind, perhaps with but little effect – “Nothing (said a gentleman & a scholar with whom I was in company a few days since) is so weak as truth, except virtue & religion.”5 – Can I believe (I repeat) that a mind elevated & benevolent as yours, after spending itself, it may be, in vain endeavours to reform & enlighten others – its arduous efforts repelled by ignorance, by interest, by pertinacity, by gross & sordid self love – will in a few years become extinct? A sudden stop put to all its enquiries, its improvements cut short ere they arrive at maturity: the body still surviving in the various changes to which matter is subject! But the intellect, with all its sublime conceptions, its acute & comprehensive powers, annihilated – a word that conveys no idea. You will again smile & tell me to confine my researches within the sober limits of experience, & not attempt to explore what is unsearchable: but I cannot persuade myself that there may not be many analogical reasonings in favor of my hypothesis – of the existence of a Supreme Power, & the probability of a future state of being. After reading the enquiry into the principles of political justice, could [I] have admitted, for a moment, that a work so conceived & arranged [could have] been produced by a fortuitous concourse of printers types? [After] contemplating the fair characters of the universe, rising in order [of their] existence & with the expanding capacity, why should I not trace [such forms], so impressed with intelligence, to an intelligent cause? I do not contend for the God of the priest, nor of the vulgar: but every effect bespeaks an adequate cause! If matter cannot communicate motion to itself, must there not be a moving power? Infinite (as we term it) power & intelligence includes the idea of infinite justice or goodness. The views of such a Being cannot terminate on evil: & individual restoration, happiness, & perfection, if my arguments have any force, follow as a corrollary. I am aware that it is impossible to reason on such a subject without being guilty of (what shall I say?) anthropomorphism: But, addressing so acute a mind, I need not be solicitous about words, your ready apprehension will easily disentangle my meaning from any obscurity of phraseology, I have probably been only repeating what I have said before, but the subject is an interesting one to me &, not withstanding your dislike of repetition, you will perhaps excuse me!

      There is another topic on which I recollect, my ideas did not quite accord with yours: which I will only just touch upon. I observed that many things that we call evil might in reality be beneficial to us: as also, on the contrary, others which we conceive to be desirable might prove ultimately pernicious & destructive. Is not this the natural consequence of ignorance? For to what, according to your own system, is owing all our vices & miseries, but to our mistakes? The wretched corruptions which deform society were originally the erring choice (from motives at that time irresistible) of man: Hence we still groan under them, & shall continue to do so, till we gain sufficient discernment & strength to perceive & dissolve the enchantment. If we were never again to desire what was prejudicial, nor reject what was really salutary, the work of reformation wou’d be accomplished. But I have perhaps misconceived you & may be combating a self created phantom! I confess I did not feel perfectly self possessed during the conversation I allude to, because, when inclined to differ, I was too conscious of inferiority.

      M^r Frend, M^r Dyer & one or two more friends have engaged to drink tea with me any day after wednesday in next week (except Sunday) that may be most convenient to M^r Godwin to join our party: May I hope to be favoured with a line from M^r G, naming the day, that will best suit him (nothing more important interfering)?⁶

                                    I am respectfully &c

                                                            Mary Hays.

NB a few days previous notice will be esteemed a favor.

Address: M^r Godwin | Somers Town |25 Chalton Street   | post paid

Postmark: 7 May 1795, 2 o’clock afn.