Letter 20. John Eccles to Mary Hays, Sunday morning, 15 August 1779.1 [f. 78] Sunday August 15th 1779. My dearest Maria, How few amongst the gay, whom we last night saw, can this
morning reflect with the pleasure of a rational being, on the different
characters they exhibited. – In such a motley collection, we may suppose every
virtue, as well as every vice to have made a part – Virtue in public places, is
not so conspicuous as her opposite, consequently it is less in our power to
learn to practise virtue, than to shun the snares of vice Oh! my Polly, every day, every hour, every time I see you, affords fresh motives, to those I before felt, for loving you. – Not a word escapes your lips, which has not charms to move my heart; not an action of yours, but has a thousand endearments in it. – The more I compare you with the rest of your sex, the lovelier you appear; and the oftener I examine my heart, its3 attachment grows tenderer and more pure. – I am wholly yours; my heart beats but for you. – Oh! were I possessed of thousands, with what eagerness would I fly to give them to you; how much happier should I then be – no, [f. 80] stop – I should not be happier; they could not make me love you more; can riches refine the affections; can they dignify the passions? No, they cannot – Yet from the want of them, I feel there must be pleasure in presenting them to you; however as it is a pleasure denied to me, let me not examine into its source. – When I wrote to you last, you will recollect, I said I had many things to say to you – don’t you think me an odd being not to have mentioned one of them – I’ll tell you the reason; I was afraid they would affect me too much, and so damp the pleasures of the evening – Not that they are now of any consequence, but they contain a painfully pleasing remembrance of what is past. – Another opportunity, and when I find myself in fit spirits I’ll tell you. – You ask me if I approve of the manner of spending my leisure hours, as you have allotted4 them? the only objection is, that they will not then be all yours; and (worse still) none of them are to be made happy with your company – Oh! how then can I amuse myself? To whom can I fly to unbosom myself? I see you are going to lecture so must haste to conclude; I shall write to you again tomorrow for tuesday – [f. 81] I am with unchanging affection ever yours J. Eccles. P.S. I hope I am no prophet, but I fear for you. – Mrs S-----5 is at your house; perhaps to tell I was at Vauxhall with you. –
1 Brooks, Correspondence 60-61; Wedd, Love Letters 42-43. 2 kind] MS 3 it] MS 4 alloted] MS 5 Sansom. |
MARY HAYS: LIFE, WRITINGS, AND CORRESPONDENCE > MARY HAYS CORRESPONDENCE > 1778-1780 Volume 1 > Letters 1-20 >